Mummibee

Reflections

2011-12-22T17:55:00.007+11:00

So we've come to the end of 2011 with a new baby and not much in the way of formal homeschooling. Despite my initial disdain at the idea of "unschooling" or "natural learning" (I'm very routine oriented) it's what we ended up doing for most of the year. I'm taken aback at how much Katie has picked up and learned without my prompting. She has been doing a lot of written copywork, I can see more maturity in her art and craft and she is constantly asking questions about everything.

I've been tossing up what to do about Christmas since we now have four children. It's not something they can really avoid. My parents are opposed to anything pagan in roots and dressed up as “Christian” and most of my life I've lived like this. Having children does make you rethink this stuff though! I do think there are valid arguments to still “observe” this tradition that have positive aspects. The Bible doesn't command us to celebrate Christ's birth but it doesn't mean it's not a good thing to do.

We have a tall tree with lights that really brighten our house and that we all enjoy – no we're not going to be worshiping it! I'll be on the lookout for a lovely nativity scene for next year though. I also want to experiment with doing a Jesse tree next year and reading from Jotham's Journey for Advent. Katie and Sam might be old enough to appreciate the meanings in a year's time.

We had a go at making salt dough decorations this week and I even tried making a wreath from our lush Happy Wanderer (Hardenbergia violacea). Merry Christmas!

Ruby

2011-10-30T14:46:00.004+11:00

Our Ruby was born three weeks ago, our smallest and possibly our strongest. Another of God's gifts to us!

Thankfully this was another quick birth. I had Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks leading up to the birth and hardly knew I was in labour till they were minutes apart at 1 am.

I hadn't needed to go to the hospital at all in my pregnancy because I was seeing my caseload midwife locally so once we arrived we couldn't find the entrance. There was obviously works going on and we were wandering around with me in established labour. With every contraction I had to get on all fours – I almost believed I was going to give birth in the carpark! Fortunately a car pulled up that was headed to Emergency and took us to the right place.

What I can remember from the birth is: VEINS, RUPTURE, HAEMORRHAGE, THEATRE. A good thing I was in hospital this time.

Oh, and also: I FINALLY HAVE MY BABY.

She is beautiful and has put on a ton of weight. I'm almost fully recovered.

It was recommended I have a caesarean next time. If there is a next time. I think our family might just be complete.

The Bread Machine

2011-09-30T11:08:00.005+10:00

Recently we decided to buy a bread machine. It happened to be advertised on Deals Direct and was half-price available for only a day or so online. My husband and I discussed whether it was something we could do with and we went for it seeing it had great reviews. I have blogged about my previous breadmaking attempt which was great but there is something about dumping a whole lot of ingredients into a machine and letting it do all the hard work for you!

Despite its bulk it has been a great addition to our kitchen - we have since found a spot for it to live out of sight and I use it on average twice a week but will probably use it a lot more. It came with a bunch of recipes which I've noticed use millilitres and grams for weights. This allows for more accurate measurements resulting in perfect bread (I did try out an attractive online recipe which just used cups and it was a disaster). I was so impressed with the traditional white bread and have since tried out sweet bread and cinnamon raisin nut bread.

One thing I would like to experiment with is gluten-free bread recipes. There is no such mode on our model but I think I'll hunt some recipes down and see how I go. Served warm/toasted with jam and butter they're a real treat - no more $1 supermarket bread in this house!

Board Game Fun

2011-08-21T12:46:00.003+10:00

Homeschool has taken a bit of a backseat the last few weeks as I head into the last stretch of pregnancy. I still want to inject a bit of fun with an educational focus so we have been spending quite some time playing old fashioned board games.

One of the best ones for young children starting to play (3+) is Candy Land. It's been around for 50 years and there's no dice and no reading required. This game teaches counting, colours and how to take turns. Probably a down side is the focus on sweets - after all it's about who can get to King Kandy and his Candy Castle first!

Zingo is a great game for learning number recognition. Yes it's based on the regular Bingo game but is a lot of fun. Katie always asks to play this and will often place tiles on my card if she sees a match.

As a family we all play Junior Monopoly and is a firm favourite. The board is a fun fair and ticket booths are purchased for the different rides. This great game introduces the concept of money and responsibility.

We also play simple card games like Go Fish and Old Maid.

One thing games will force you to do is to remind your little ones that winning isn't everything but having fun and learning is. Funny how hard that seems to sink in!

Other games we will be introducing soon are My First Scrabble, UNO and Boggle Junior.

Birth Skills

2011-08-01T20:41:00.002+10:00

So I have another two months before I give birth again. It's interesting seeing people's reactions when they find out it will be my fourth baby. I inwardly puke every time I hear "wow you're going to have your hands full!". As if I don't know that. Yes I'll have four under 5, yes I know what causes it, yes we knew we'd need a new car and yes we might even have more. This is the choice WE have made, to have a large family - by current modern standards.

Sorry. I'm very tired in this last last trimester of this particular pregnancy. I'm acutely aware of my older body since having my first and the need to look after myself, which is getting very hard to do. I am thankful however for Katie who at five is my right hand woman, running little chores for me about the house every day.

I'm currently reading a fab book by Juju Sundin called "Birth Skills", probably the most practical and down to earth book on labour pain management I have every read - and I've read heaps of birth books. What I really like about this one is that Juju doesn't gloss over the pain of birth. The pain is very real. However she gives very practical advice on what any woman can do in each of the stages. A natural (drug-free) birth is fine and dandy but personally I need more than just "listen to what your body is telling you" and "go with the flow"! I've yet to finish the book but I have come away with some very useful ideas on how I can distract myself from the pain such as using vocalisation, visualisation and physical movement. I'll be packing my hospital bag with stress balls, CDs, essential oils and cue cards for my husband to help me recall.

Being able to release all inhibitions is essential - who cares if your doctor/midwife sees you grunting, bashing stress balls, stamping, counting and repeating mantras during contractions? If it's going to help you focus on something else other than the pain you may be able to avoid the drugs. I've never had drugs in labour but I have had posterior labour in a home birth and it's not pretty. There's some excellent advice on how to manage this type of labour also. I'm praying for a straightforward birth this time round. That's not too much to ask is it?

The Lemming

2011-05-26T15:49:00.002+10:00

I'm happy to say that I have never had the unfortunate experience of having a child wilfully run off on me in public - until the other day. Just another morning of bundling three littlies with me to get a stack of stuff done.

I happened to be at the grocery checkout and decided to take Sam out of the trolley to stand with Katie for a while. After the few minutes it took to pay I looked around for Sam. Katie didn't know where he went - he had disappeared. Panicking, I searched around for him unaware of the checkout girl chasing me with a bag of shopping I had left behind.

After having Katie, who at age 2 was about as outgoing as a mouse and wouldn't walk 2 metres away from me for any amount of chocolate, I expected my son to be the same. It's in the genes, I myself was still holding my mother's skirt at age 6. Though Sam can definitely be clingy he is also a wanderer and will allow himself to be swept up in whatever is happening around him.

I quickly described him to the checkout girl confident no one could miss him in bright yellow. He was found in minutes. No doubt he had followed someone back into the store and had happily found himself in the confectionery aisle. His expression seemed to be a mixture of embarrassment and relief. Kind of the way I felt really.

Baba Ganoush

2011-05-26T15:34:00.003+10:00

With the recent swamp of eggplants in my father's garden I've been trying to find kid-friendly recipes in an effort to use up this rarely seen vegetable in our household. The tribe weren't too impressed with my last attempts...until I decided to make baba ganoush. Miss 4 gave a loud “yuk!” when she saw me cut the eggplant ready for roasting but believe me it was a different story once I served it up in their sandwiches not too long after.

Ingredients

1 large eggplant

1 can chickpeas, drained

3 cloves garlic

¼ c lemon juice

3 tbsp tahini

dash sea salt

¼ c olive oil

2 tbsp fresh chopped parsley

Slice eggplant in half and roast in 400 degree oven for approximately 45 mins or until soft. Allow to cool slightly then scoop out inside of eggplant leaving skin behind. In a blender or food processor combine eggplant and remaining ingredients, except oil and parsley, until smooth. Mixture will be somewhat thick. Slowly incorporate olive oil until well mixed. Mix in chopped parsley by hand.

* I also added a little cumin for extra flavour – yum.

New Year

2011-02-09T10:11:00.001+11:00

So after a long blog break here we are starting a new year...homeschooling! I thought I'd share something of what I intend to do with Katie, though because she's only kinder age there isn't going to be too much structure. My plan is to focus on lots of time for art/craft and going on walks (morning) and then once the other two are having afternoon naps concentrate on learning to read and write. I'm also going to make a list of good read-alouds and end off our kinder days with that. Probably the most important thing I want to start each day off with both Sam and Katie is devotional time right after breakfast. We are working our way through the Rhyme Bible at the moment.

In terms of what materials we will be using I have found a great source book which has had glowing reviews. It has also scared a lot of homeschooling parents including myself. It's The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer. When I read it I thought, wow this is the kind of education I wish I had! It is based on classical education which is very language-focused. The most interesting aspect I thought was having the 12 years of education consist of three

repetitions of the same four-year pattern (such as in literature, history and science):

Period	Years Covered	Scientific Subjects	Studied during grades...
Ancients	5000 BC – AD 400	Biology Classification Human Body	1, 5, 9
Medieval – early Renaissance	400 - 1600	Earth Science Astronomy	2, 6, 10
Late Renaissance – early modern	1600 – 1850	Chemistry	3, 7, 11
Modern	1850 – Present	Physics Computer Science	4, 8, 12

The four time periods are studied at varying levels – simple for grades 1-4, more difficult in grade 5-8 and taking a more complex approach in grades 9-12. It's a daunting book, all 814 pages of it, but I'm excited I've found a very detailed manual which really shows you how to do it and recommends a wide variety of sources to use. I just don't trust myself to make things up as I go along so for now this is my “guide book”. It's given me a good outline and I simply pick and choose which books I want to use and decide how far in depth I really want to go.

Currently for this kinder year I am using:

Slow and steady get me ready (weekly activities for newborns up to age 5)

Mudpies to magnets (a preschool science curriculum)

Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading

Zaner-Bloser Handwriting Workbook K

We are also supplementing with various workbook activities.

My one goal for Sam this year is to toilet-train him. He loves story-time so we'll just keep rea

ding and reading and maybe even start learning some letters soon. Annie is turning 1 in March – so it's a real challenge this year starting homeschooling. We also have number 4 on the way so I'm envisaging many future fun and games in our household :)

The A List

2010-11-14T15:35:00.000+11:00

One thing motherhood has taught me is the value of being able to make the best of each available waking moment. Every single spare minute can be used productively...or not so usefully.

I've now got into a routine where from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep I am constantly on the move trying to get as many things done as possible. The laundry pile needs to be tamed before it turns into a huge odourous monster, meals need to be planned, shopped for, cooked and stored, rooms tidied, dishes washed, places to go, people to visit, emails replied, little people bathed, stories read, bums wiped and kids put to sleep. I also have an “if I can fit it in list” like exercising, changing bedsheets, cleaning floors, degriming bathrooms, playing games and decluttering. Then there's the “want to wish” list like ebaying, reading alone for a whole hour and going out somewhere without the kids.

Getting all of this done means I have little patience for things that hamper my efficiency like telemarketers, accidents and spills and inopportune dirty nappies. Which is why I've learned it is truly impossible to get everything done. How often I forget that running ragged for most of the day isn't good for me, my husband or the children especially knowing true one on one time should really make it on the A list to start with along with a few other things like devotional time, a nanna nap, playing with my children and just being still pondering life. Those are the things I'll be ticking off next time.

Angel Annie

2010-10-14T15:49:00.000+11:00

My third baby is a dream, and I often tell her that. It seems, compared to my first two children, that she is so much more placid. She is content to just watch her siblings playing and squabbling, observe the cat creeping about outside, and stare at the rain and leaves in silence. She can sit in one spot patiently playing with the same toy for a very long time – I've even forgotten about her a couple of times.

She is also a real smiler. Her two bottom teeth have popped out and it's always easy to spot them with her mouth in an open smile much of the time. Spoonfeeding her is difficult because of the food dropping out with all that smiling and laughing.

One thing I am thankful for is, like her brother and sister, she has consistently slept through the night from around 3 months old. However, so many nights after she has been put to bed the other two are up out of bed, running around and yelling. I have done workouts climbing the stairs to put them back in their beds with a good scolding, and Annie in the next room hasn't even made a sound.

Yep, she's been really easy so far. Just don't ask me how long it will last.

The Innocents

2010-10-04T14:44:00.000+11:00

Amid the ever-busyness of mothering and housekeeping, there are times (and they are few) where something compels me to stop. On this occasion I had looked up from whatever very important task I was performing to the awareness of three sets of small eyes on me. I cannot tell you what the circumstances were or why this particular instance affected me so, yet it did. I felt an immediate self-consciousness and held their gaze for as long as I could.

In that moment I felt the awesome privilege of what it means to mother. To be their light and their guide in the formative years is an enormous task, but oh how precious it is! I feel from the bottom of my heart it is my life's work, yes the most important thing I will ever do – to bring my children up well.

My children's eyes on me felt searching, expectant and assessing. It was as if they instinctively knew I was struggling and trying to imbue me with strength and encouragement. One day I know they will grow up strong and wise, but for now I treasure their complete trust in me, these helpless babes.

Bread in Five

2010-09-12T18:27:00.002+10:00

After giving birth to our third child I've hit another milestone – six months post-baby. A lovely period really. More sleep and more smiles. Amazingly, they're all getting on so well with one another which is really cute. It's also funny how much alike they all look.

So it has been quite hectic and really the right time to experiment with – making bread. Just something else to add to my crazy days. I picked up a book at the library called “Healthy bread in five minutes a day” and wondered what the catch was. I started with the basic recipe and couldn't believe how simple it was. I threw yeast, water, salt and flour together, mixed it with a wooden spoon for 3 minutes, covered it for an hour and put it in the fridge. The next day I took a third of the mixture and shaped it into an oval (2 mins) leaving it out for a couple of hours. I then stuck it in the oven for 35 minutes and got a gorgeous crusty loaf for around 50 cents that would feed our family for two days.

There's not much else to it but the details are here and there are dozens of variations in the book. Seriously anyone could do this and be very satisfied with the results.

Honestly!

2010-06-10T17:18:00.000+10:00

I marvel sometimes at how absolutely honest little children can be. Brutally honest. I find most times we are out, say shopping, Katie will lay her curious eyes on a new person and offer up a running commentary on what she has discovered about them.

“Look mum that lady has a baby inside her!”

“That boy is being very naughty, he needs a smack!”

“That girl is eating an ice-cream, can I have one too?”

“That lady has big boobies!”

“That lady has a big bum!”

Fortunately the victims have never been within earshot (I don’t think) but I know it’s only a matter of time. I can only hope they don’t take it too personally. A preschooler probably isn’t capable of making personal judgments about anybody - just honest, unbiased everyday observations.

I am however a little disturbed by the fact it’s larger-sized people she has a particular fixation with. Once she said, “See that man, he is very fat – if he eats too much an ambulance will come and have to take him to the hospital!”

I confess there was a time I described the very situation to Katie. I think we were watching a doco on seriously obese people and she wanted to know what was happening. Then I used it to scare her into stopping nagging me for more biscuits. I hope one day I’ll be able to instill in her the ability to also find good character qualities in others. That, and the meaning of tact and subtlety.

Miracles

2010-04-08T21:33:00.000+10:00

The fact I am here and writing this could be considered a small miracle. Four weeks ago I was lying in a hospital bed after having lost at least two litres of blood giving birth to our daughter Annie. I needed six units of blood transfusion before doctors were happy with my haemoglobin level to allow me to go home.

I found myself shrouded in disappointment and disillusionment over a birth I was expecting to be textbook again. But then I pick Annie up and peer into her tiny precious face. She is worth it all, this new miracle of life.

I was allowed to go through this experience probably for so many reasons. So I could appreciate the fine line there is between life and death. So I would be forced to imagine my children without a mother. So I would realise how sometimes we need to be given a hard dose of reality just when we think we are invincible. So I would realise how fearfully and wonderfully made I am.

I am a mere mortal in the hands of the Creator – a terrifying thought yet somehow comforting at the same time.

Birth, birth, birth

2010-01-30T16:41:00.008+11:00

Lately I’ve been thinking about nothing else but birthing. I’ve done it twice before in very different environments and even though this one is another planned homebirth I can’t say I’m looking forward to labour but I just can’t wait to meet my little one. I believe where you give birth is not as important so much as the care, respect and support you receive in this life-changing event but it has influenced my choice again to homebirth.

Mental preparation I’ve found is so critical when heading into something as physical and powerful as a drug-free natural birth, so in preparation I’ve been absorbing myself in Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth which is such an awesome and inspiring book. For the record it is also based on the best scientific evidence. It’s one of those books you wish you could buy hundreds of copies of and distribute to every pregnant woman you know. It has been an enormous help in preparing me mentally as any residual fear going into birth can often hamper the normal birth process.

I’ve also been learning about the sheela na gigs which are carvings of women with enlarged vulvas found in Ireland and Britain. There is some mystery as to what they were for but pictures of them can be used as visual aids to encourage a woman in labour. An image of a flower opening up can also have the same effect ie on ease of cervical dilatation and low likelihood of tearing. The whole mind/body connection during birth is very powerful.

This time around I’ve decided to enter a homebirth program which has started running in two Victorian hospitals this year. It means the homebirth will be free but unfortunately only available to a select number of women as there are all kinds of conditions and restrictions. As a result many have been critical of the program but I think it’s a positive step in making homebirth a very viable option for low-risk women.

At the same time a new study on homebirth had the media jumping all over it. Interestingly many articles have been written since dissecting the actual study and concluding it as “fundamentally flawed”. One such article has appeared in Crikey.

Here is a fascinating video of a very fast birth - accidentally unassisted!

* Image taken from www.celticsymbols.net/sheela-na-gig.html

Recent Projects

2010-01-23T20:46:00.002+11:00

One thing I find quite enjoyable to do on a Saturday morning is visit garage sales. I often check though local paper listings for potential bargains but really they’re quite hit and miss. For really good bargains it’s worth keeping an eye out for “moving interstate/overseas – all must go” sales. They are usually quite desperate to get rid of stuff.

Like the other weekend my husband managed to buy a set of golf clubs together with bag and balls for $25 – and no we did not discuss this first! The next garage sale we visited we ended up buying an Elna sewing machine – a really sturdy Swiss made machine complete with accessories for $30. I was planning on buying a beginner’s Janome new but decided to take the plunge with the Elna. It’s about 30 years old and runs perfectly. The whole package was an old woman’s pride and joy who could no longer use it. I’m a beginner myself but I envisage many years of use with this great machine. However hubby beat me to it and immediately used it to do a few patch-up jobs on his jeans! My first project was to make some baby wipes out of some old flannelette material and they turned out really well. I was quite proud of myself.

Another thing we recently completed was a type of wall hanging. I love those old train/tram destination blinds and I saw a tea towel version on ebay which featured suburbs I had grown up in. I was surprised at the amount of bids but I was the eventual winner. I immediately got my husband to stretch it over some board and we clipped the ends back. There’s actually a spelling mistake in one of the names and it’s really bothering me as I’m such a stickler for spelling. I really like it though – only cos I’m from the northern suburbs.

Can't Hack This

2010-01-10T16:40:00.000+11:00

Hopefully this is the last time I change my blog address. I discovered my site was hacked last week and thought I’d lost my posts. I managed to access them and decided to transfer back to Blogger. It was a problem I really didn’t need as I’m now in my third trimester and reliving the familiar discomforts. Sometimes I think to myself what was I actually thinking becoming pregnant with my third so soon after Sam. He will be under 18 months when the baby is born. That means three under the age of 4...aagh!

I’m now required to wear compression stocking for varicose veins – what great timing right in the middle of summer. Backache, insomnia, the list of woes goes on. In hindsight I would not have gotten pregnant so soon and wouldn't recommend this age gap to anyone unless you have a nanny, cleaner and cook, and highly independent children. Personally another six months age difference would have made a world of difference, to me anyway.

Probably one of the most difficult things to deal with during pregnancy I’ve found is the hormones. Really small things can make me blow up in anger but I can also feel hurt and offended very easily. The tears can flow quite readily and now I’m flipping out about labour all over again.

But here I am about to give birth in two months and the thought of having three scares the life out of me. Someone told me this is the hardest it is ever going to get as my children are young and so I anticipate a long and difficult year ahead.

Getting out of the front door is a chore and I’ve had to say no many times to many people purely because of the energy it saps right out of me. So for now I’m just going to rest, forget about what people think and concentrate on this little one who I will meet very soon. I know it will be hard going for a while. I’ll try to forget myself and see the absolute blessings these three little ones will be to us in the coming years. Hopefully I’ll be more social in 2011.

Christmas, yay

2009-12-24T18:33:00.000+11:00

I usually find the period leading up to Christmas slightly irritating. Sometimes it can seem a little pretentious and awkward to dig down for some good Christmas cheer when you don’t necessarily feel it, but once you have kids I find you can become more enthusiastic about it.

This year Katie has been introduced to the concept of Santa – something I always thought I’d completely shun from our family’s idea of Christmas. The problem is you can’t avoid Santa unless you lock yourself away at home for two months and go on a media fast. That and the fact he really is an interesting character who apparently loves children and giving them nice things.

You also can’t avoid other adults asking your child if they’ve been good this year. Even worse is asking what they want for Christmas. I listened to how Katie would answer that question on the phone to a relative she was talking excitedly on the phone with recently. She was immediately silent and ummed and ahhed for a while. Yes I find these aspects of Christmas particularly irritating because I don’t want Katie to automatically think Christmas as an “I want” season. No doubt it’ll become like that soon but for now we want to revolve this time around fun and family. We’ve not made a big deal of Christmas this year and not bought any big ticket items for our kids.

I suppose it all comes down to what Christmas actually does represent - CHRIST. These days it has changed and become different things to different people but personally I found it heartening to see beautiful nativity scenes in shopping centres and stopped with Katie to show her what I had only read and told her about it. What a contrast the scene was to everyone shopping madly around us. Frustratingly, any attempt to focus on the most important aspect of Christmas can seem difficult, like last night when we tried to watch The Nativity Story as a family and were disappointed to find the disc damaged. It was virtually unviewable.

One good thing about Christmas that I am grateful for though is that it is not a greatly stressful time for us. We will have a simple dinner with my family as my husband’s family are overseas and maybe check out some Christmas street lights after that. There is no expectation for expensive gifts, dressing up, huge decorations or fancy food – okay maybe just something different and delicious. And time to be together and be thankful for God’s blessings and faithfulness to us throughout the year.

A decision

2009-12-09T18:31:00.000+11:00

So I’ve decided to do something really weird and unconventional. Something most people wouldn't even consider, myself included till a while ago. It will take a lot of time, commitment and energy, is unpaid, and could end up being a big mistake. On the other hand it could also be the best decision I ever made. I’m going to homeschool.

Here are my reasons:
1. I’m in a fortunate position where I don’t HAVE to work outside the home which makes it possible in the first place.
2. I am the mother of my children and I get to choose what and how I educate them.
3. I don’t justify paying $15000+ a year to educate my children (what I’d have to pay for the school I’d choose if I had to). We could pay our mortgage off quicker, or take regular overseas trips – a great learning experience.
4. Honestly I can’t be bothered with school pickups and dropoffs.
5. Six hours is seriously a looong day for a 5 year old. Homeschooling can be as little as an hour a day, enough time to rest up for other important stuff like creative pursuits, reading, sports or generally being mum’s personal slave.
6. Secretly I presumptuously think I can do a better job than any school.
7. I want my children to be family-focussed rather than peer-focussed for as long as possible.
8. It’s possible to identify specific talents and learning styles in your child very early on.
9. There are plenty of resources and support groups out there. It doesn’t have to be done in isolation.
10. I’ll know who my children’s friends are and what they’re up to at any given time – VERY important.
11. I can do without multiple birthday parties every weekend.
12. I just like doing things differently.
13. I love a challenge.
14. I’m one of those over-protective parents.

If anyone can think of any reasons why homeschooling would be completely destructive to my children please let me know of them – there is still time for me to change my mind, however I probably won’t!

Hope

2009-11-20T18:29:00.000+11:00

I mustn’t be a very good mum. I have a lot of “bad” days, days when I just want to lie in, eat junk and sit in front of the computer. I don’t want to have to worry about whingey babies, pooey nappies or what to make for dinner. I stress about how I look even though I’m pregnant and am continually impatient and cranky. I yell at my kids and knock back book reading requests because I just don’t feel like it. I do have good days too – actually most of them are good but the bad ones can really scare you sometimes.

Despite this, I like to think of myself as idealistic, in a good way of course, make sure others see my good points and never mind the rest. I devour parenting mags and listen to all sorts of advice, albeit with a grain of salt. My all time most recommended baby resource book is “Babywise”, high on the list of books every mother should burn apparently.

I like to know what’s in fashion, not that I actually buy any but I can dream of what I might like to look like after I give birth and lose all the weight right? All those celebrity mums who look fantastic after childbirth I actually think give us regular mums a little hope. Please don’t hit me. I’m sure it’s not all downhill from here. Look at The Biggest Loser – oops, yes I’m looking forward to that too.

I subscribe to blogs and magazines written by women who have 10 kids, homeschool, live off the land, sew and run a business. If they can do all that surely I can deal with my lot in life. There are some incredibly inspirational women around who are strong, hardworking and committed who have close and beautiful families – but they’re hard to find, maybe because we all believe it’s just not possible anymore. And when we do we think she must be hiding something – no one can be that perfect.

I’m actually tired of bad parenting stories. It’s almost in bad taste to talk about how great your day was and how much you love being a mum in case you might offend or depress someone. I guess what I’m trying to say is – I want to be inspired! I want to be reassured that there is hope, there are sunny days ahead and that it’s okay to feel down sometimes but that wallowing in it isn’t going to make it any better. So I admit I have my fair share of bad days but I’m not going to write about them too much anymore. Is it possible that we can strive for more – to be better mothers and partners?

Am I setting myself up for failure? Maybe but making mistakes can be good – I’ve done it plenty of times and I learn and start again because I have hope. I would actually feel much more depressed if I believed being a “real” mum meant no more life, endless routine, boredom and a big bum. Maybe I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and make better choices. Tomorrow is another day and I take full responsibility for what I do with it. Maybe I’ll buy the current baby “essential”, the Belly Bandit, a post-baby girdle celebrity mums swear buy for $120 – what a bargain.

Ministar

2009-11-15T18:23:00.000+11:00

Why do we mums love showing off our kids? My husband took this photo recently after Katie was displaying some incredible moves he taught her. We think she’ll be more than ready when she joins the tae kwon do club in the ministars program in two year’s time - and also hold her own amongst any group of boys.

The Egg Part 2

2009-10-16T17:20:00.000+11:00

The bird’s egg we came upon unfortunately came to a sad demise. I’ve realised such frail items should not be within reach of small hands, particularly amongst a group of little boys. Funnily enough we soon found another egg in a different part of the garden this time. It’s quite puzzling figuring out exactly where they are coming from. One thing is for certain – they are not blackbird eggs. We ended up finding the blackbird nest within our passionfruit vine and daily watched it slowly being fashioned into a small woody bowl.

A few days ago I peered in while the mother bird was away and spotted three blue-green eggs a little larger than the small white rejected ones we found on the ground. Every time I came back to take a picture I found the mother bird back guarding her eggs, her wide eyes watching me. I grew up with blackbird nests in our garden each year but not till I had children of my own could I actually relate to what this mother bird must be feeling. The instinct to protect is very strong.

I eventually got another look-in the other day. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when they hatch and take their first flight with our cat Cart around. Hopefully he'll be licking his lips indoors at that point. I really think gardens are so important to young children - a place to learn and explore.

Pity Party

2009-09-27T16:18:00.000+10:00

Sometimes it is as if I am going under. Very slowly. I lose sight of what I am doing and what I am here for. The goals and dreams that once were crystal clear I can no longer bring to mind. I trudge along with the day to day, barely keeping up.

I envy those who have support, who can take a breather. When I am baby-less for even a few hours it is pure luxury but I feel guilty at the same time. My own mother never had support when she raised us and she is still hard at work today six days a week as the breadwinner.

Each day morphs into the next and it’s as if I have no strength anymore. My family deserve more than this. I realise I cannot justify any more self-pity. I accept my regrets and I accept less than perfection. And I choose to move on.

Lemon Meringue Pie

2009-09-07T15:46:00.000+10:00

We were watching Better Homes and Gardens last week and Fast Ed was making a lemon meringue pie. Boy was it droolworthy. Hubby commented his granny used to make it when he was a boy and that he’d love to taste it again. I’ve only made lemon meringue pie once, a very long time ago, and it was a bit of a disaster. I planned to give it another go especially for Father’s Day. Lucky we had taped the show so I was able to use the exact recipe which included making the pastry from scratch, super-easy when you have a food processor.

(Base)
100 g butter chopped

75 g icing sugar

1 tsp vanilla essence

1 egg

225 g plain flour

1 tsp baking powder

(Filling)

4 lemons zest and juice

125 g caster sugar

2 tbs cornflour

6 egg yolks

(Meringue)

6 egg whites

¼ tsp cream of tartar

250 g caster sugar

Pulse the butter, icing sugar and vanilla in the food processor. Add the egg then add flour and baking powder. While the pastry is soft line it in a tin. Freeze it for 5-10 minutes till firm. Dot the pastry all over with a fork. Bake it in a 180◦ oven for 12-15 minutes. Put the lemons, caster sugar, cornflour and egg yolks in a bowl over simmering water and whisk till it thickens. Spread it in the pastry base while it is still warm. To make the meringue beat the egg whites and cream of tartar on high speed till stiff. Add the caster sugar a tablespoon at a time till it is thick, glossy and smooth. Dollop it all over the pie and bake in a 150◦ oven for 45 minutes.

The Egg

2009-09-04T15:39:00.000+10:00

They say we’ve just experienced one of our warmest winters on record. I must say this surprised me but I suppose I’m getting older and a bit soft. Maybe it’s all the wind that has put a damper on the clear days we’ve had. But spring has sprung and I’m looking forward to getting out more, soaking up the sun and enjoying life.

The other day we were in the garden and came upon a strange sight – and a sure sign of spring. A perfect small white egg underneath our growing native tree. We had spotted a pair of blackbirds in recent weeks and with all the plants and trees in our garden I was sure there must be a nest in there somewhere. We looked everywhere in vain.

We took the egg inside. It felt cold and I was sure there was no hope for this one. Perhaps the mother knew this and rejected the egg, or maybe the egg was not fertilised.

It was a little sad and I couldn’t help but think of the struggles many go through in order to conceive. It really is a blessing and an honour to be able to do so and I am grateful to once again be able to nurture new life within.

Now That's Art

2009-08-03T14:52:00.000+10:00

Lately Katie has been very much into all manner of drawing, painting, cutting and pasting. I thought it would be a nice idea to keep a few of her special drawings for memory's sake, and also to see how her abilities mature as she gets older. Framing a few of them shows how much we treasure them - not to mention filling up some wall space without spending a lot of money!

Bit of a Rant

2009-07-25T15:37:00.000+10:00

I was very interested to see Nicola Roxon on ABC television last night. Only a few minutes was given to the subject of home birth and, again, the fact a woman’s choice is about to be taken away was ignored.

It’s supposedly okay to have a late-term abortion, to choose a Caesarean for nonmedical reasons and to take drugs during labour. Each one is an available option albeit with controversy and risk. However, by July next year a healthy woman with a low-risk pregnancy will no longer be able to birth safely in her own home under the care of an independent midwife.

Currently independent midwives do not have insurance because they are so small in number. People who watched the Q&A program last night might have thought the issue was about getting government funding for homebirths. We know that’s not going to happen, although it would be nice. It’s about having the CHOICE to homebirth, and every woman who homebirths is well aware her midwife is uninsured.

Ms Roxon did talk about the cost of introducing such insurance. It costs (largely the taxpayer) approximately $14,000 to have a Caesarean and $7000 for a normal birth in a hospital. My homebirth last year cost (me )$4000. Clearly homebirth is cheaper anyway and if homebirth was made a more viable option more women would homebirth freeing up the hospital system and overworked obstetricians to concentrate on the women who really need their services.

Many women have suffered traumatic birth experiences that they can never get over and I can absolutely understand their fear and why they would even resort to birthing alone if this legislation becomes effective.

It's really all about accessing normal birth. It just so happens for many women the only place they can avoid an overly managed labour fraught with risk is at home, not in hospitals where Caesarean rates are skyrocketing and there are a shortage of beds.

Some women want to have a surgical birth and they have that option, together with a 4 x risk of dying from such a procedure and their baby a 5 x risk of needing neonatal care. Insured or uninsured, I just want access to an independent midwife where I can birth safely at home.

I’ve been called cheap before (and rightly so!) but I believe an experienced independent midwife is worth her weight in gold. I predict this issue is going to be big. Why not leave the homebirth system the way it is or else provide the independent midwives the insurance they need to continue doing their job?

Links I Like

2009-07-20T14:51:00.000+10:00

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/07/16/Major-Expose-on-Swine-Flu-by-60-Minutes.aspx So a swine flu vaccine is about to become available. This excellent article explains the tragic results of the vaccine when it was introduced in the 1970s and why the author thinks history is about to repeat itself.

http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/flex/childrens-health/7999/pertusiss-the-fear-factor.cfm Fear and marketing will sell anything especially if it involves your child.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/07/18/Robert-F-Kennedy-Jr-Explains-the-Autism-Coverup.aspx Please read with an open mind – information here is shocking and important to all parents.

http://thewomenscolony.com/confessional/2009/4/10/the-reinvention-of-motherhood-by-mrs-g.html Maybe most of us don't really have it that bad after all.

Threes

2009-07-18T14:46:00.000+10:00

I must say I am really enjoying my 3-year-old at the moment. Sure it’s a trying period but there are so many positives I’ve noticed recently that I just want to mention them.

Katie has such boundless energy and loves to please. She has a mischievous streak though and a great sense of humour. She will not sit still and is showing wonderful imagination. She’s able to concentrate for longer periods absorbed in drawing or whatever is holding her attention at the moment. She enjoys attention, can pose and asks a lot of questions. She can make friends with anyone and knows exactly how to be herself. Really there’s a lot I can learn from here.

One thing she will always be is Daddy’s girl. She squeals in delight when he comes home and loves to romp about with him. Sometimes I get a tinge of jealousy but mostly I’m glad I can get those much-needed breaks when he’s around.

The other day the two were about to go to Bunnings and Daddy was helping put on Katie’s jumper. It was on except her arms were not in the armholes and she couldn’t free them. He thought he would leave her like that for a while since it looked so funny. They were mucking about and suddenly Katie tripped and she fell straight on her face onto the floor tiles. There was a long howl and after peeling her off the ground we saw she had a swollen lip and some blood. It took us a while to realise she had also chipped a tooth in the process. A good chunk of her left top front tooth was completely gone. I found the piece and stared at it in disbelief. It was never something I envisaged would happen. Actually I realised afterward it’s a very common incident that happens in this age group and I suppose it’s a good enough reason we have baby teeth.

It didn’t stop her from wanting to go to Bunnings with Daddy though. On their return we had a fish and chips dinner as a treat which for the first time she couldn’t finish as it was too painful. We ended up feeding her by sticking food in her back teeth. Later she stood in front of the mirror and saw what was left of her tooth. I held my breath ready for a bad reaction. She only stared for a bit and then asked to play on the piano.

Yes I love this age – the way they don’t dwell on things that seem significant to us, the way they can move on, be flexible and take change so well. They couldn’t give a hoot about their appearance. Okay, maybe I’m just feeling really sorry for my girl and remembering her good traits is really easy. If only I can remember them when she’s naughty.

The Cast

2009-07-10T13:02:00.000+10:00

Ten months later my belly cast is finally complete. I talked my good husband into placing layers of wet plaster strips as fast as he could all over my 36-week preggie belly last year. I mean who else was going to do it?

I ended up painting it just the one colour. I could have been a bit more adventurous and painted wonderfully intricate details or maybe even some flowers, but I’m creatively challenged. Not to mention lazy.

Before starting the project I knew I didn’t want to traipse to the other side of Melbourne and actually have to pay someone to do it as well. Luckily there’s a few kits you can get on Ebay and online and I also googled a couple of good guides on how to do it all yourself.

What a nice reminder of those good old pregnant days! The curves, the miracle of a life within…the utter exhaustion. A reminder it’s over, if only for a while perhaps. I consider it a piece of art and I hope Sam will appreciate it one day as much as I do.

Just Want Pure

2009-06-24T12:58:00.000+10:00

I’m not sure many people know what pure drinking water tastes like anymore, ie water not contaminated by chlorine, dozens of inorganic minerals and forced medication with fluoride. There’s only one brand I know of in the major supermarkets – Noble's Pureau - which is truly pure but unfortunately is encased in such excessive packaging I feel guilty buying it (only for Sam’s bottles). I once drank nothing but that for a week and on drinking tap water again I had a rude shock. I was drinking from the world’s best tasting water supply and had to spit it out.

A 5-year-old can spout that fluoride is good for the teeth and if that’s true I thought brushing with it would suffice. Apparently not, though if you check the supermarket health section shelves you’ll find fluoride-free toothpaste too. Someone discovered fluoride is practically a poison and didn’t want it in their mouth let alone their drinking water.

So why are we forced to drink it? Can anyone guarantee that the fluoride added is not of the industrial waste variety? If I get my daily eight glasses from the tap what will this toxic accumulation do? Will I get arthritis or maybe a brain tumour? Who knows? Ready to kill you slowly? Maybe.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/08/19/why-tap-water-can-harm-your-kids.aspx
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2007/11/22/fluoride-damages-your-brain.aspx

Gaol Love

2009-06-15T10:41:00.000+10:00

While visiting the Trial Bay Gaol in Arakoon last month we couldn’t help noticing old inscriptions left by actual inmates during World War I where it was used as a German internment camp. During the 50s and 60s the Gaol was also a popular romantic spot after dances and social events in town. The Gaol overlooks spectacular beaches – it’s even possible to spot whales in this beautiful part of Australia. I can imagine arm in arm walks amongst the ruins on a clear starry night.

Unfortunately, although the inscriptions are interesting from a historical perspective, people today still feel the need to also deface. Almost every cell wall is covered. However, I spotted this bit of graffiti which I couldn’t stop looking at.

A picture of youth and innocence as a new year is started. I wonder where these two people are now 42 years on? Are they alive? Are they still together? Did they marry? Did they actually have a relationship? Did Dianne know about Jeremy’s love? Did she even know he existed?

These two people would have been from my own parents’ generation whose own relationship is still going strong. Sadly nowadays, for any relationship to last that long is quite phenomenal. Still, I have hopes for Jeremy and Dianne. That they’re out there somewhere and that Dianne knew of Jeremy’s love. That she felt the same way and that they got married. That they had their ups and downs but they pulled through together. That they remembered what they wrote on New Year’s Day of 67 and came back to show their children.

And that Jeremy still loves Dianne.

Decisions

2009-06-05T10:38:00.000+10:00

There’s a book out now called Thirty something and over it. I’ve not read it but I heard an interview with the author on the radio the other day and I think a lot of people can relate to the idea.

Sometimes you come to a point where you’ve had enough. Or you think you do. Your general routine for instance. Being tired of the same old. Not happy with your job, your location, what you have, the people around you or just life in general. This isn’t me or so I thought – perhaps not to that extent and not until a couple of weeks ago.

Recently I’ve realised major life decisions are exciting but fairly straightforward and easy for the single person. However, those same decisions can have a huge impact where a family is concerned, and the amount of unknowns in the picture can potentially be either extremely positive or majorly hazardous for the family. It could even break that union apart.

I wouldn’t consider myself a risk taker but I’m usually up for a challenge or just a bit of change. But I cannot be selfish where the results of such a decision are unknown and which could even in the end negatively affect my children just for the sake of change.

Admittedly, sometimes it’s easy to look at someone else’s life and compare yours with those who have more or something different. An opportunity knocks and all that’s rosy about it is all you see. It’s easy to forget the millions who have less than us and can only dream of living the lives we lead.

It’s a wise person who recognizes all this and prays for guidance and admits to what could have been a very costly mistake. It’s amazing where that has led us. It’s led me to a place where I am satisfied with where I am and what I am doing. I’m perfectly content. And if God were to speak to me in a booming voice to go somewhere or do something – well then I think I’d be up in a flash.

Blink and Miss

2009-05-20T10:36:00.000+10:00

Recently we returned from a trip to sunny north coast NSW. It was the first time we had left our children overnight without us – ever. Fortunately we are in a position to do this with family members happily taking charge of them.

The whole trip felt almost surreal for various reasons – one chiefly being the absence of two familiar small and noisy creatures. It felt like luxury to be able to be spontaneous, to enjoy some quiet or to actually spend an afternoon out (our two happily nap whole afternoons away…hmm maybe I shouldn’t complain!). By the second day though, I was desperately missing them which really took me by surprise.

We called home a couple of times and I tell you there is no sweeter sound than your own child’s voice (when they’re hundreds of miles away that is). Katie was cheery at first but then asked when we were coming back. I could tell she was a little sad. I couldn’t finish the conversation I was too overcome with emotion. I don’t think I have ever felt such a deep longing for my children as I did then.

It was 10:30 pm the next day when we finally arrived home. I opened Sam’s door and just stared at his sleeping face. I wanted to pick him up and hold him. In the dim light I was sure I could detect a boyish change in him. He half opened his eyes and saw me. His eyes grew bigger and he began to kick his limbs about excitedly. I stepped out quickly into Katie’s room and as usual she had thrown her blankets off. I noticed how tall she was getting. I decided to whisper my presence to her and she immediately turned to me and mumbled a sleepy slur.

I tucked her in and realised just how glad I was to be home and how much my children are growing before my very eyes.

Continental Rusks

2009-05-12T10:32:00.000+10:00

The other day I thought I’d experiment with making some home-made biscuits especially for Sam. He’s been on solid foods for a while but has soon learned to swipe at spoons and generally anything placed within inches of his face. I marvel at how fast he is sometimes. He’s also teething which is always fun.

Finger foods are now a firm favourite – for him not me. The little man much prefers to examine and explore his food himself, however most of it ends up anywhere but his mouth. Really I’d be quite happy continuing to serve him thick soups and stews forever since they’re usually consumed relatively quickly and cleanly.

The following recipe is taken from Practical Cooking for Babies and Toddlers published by Choice.

1/3 cup caster sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla essence

2/3 cup plain flour

1/4 tsp baking powder

2 tbs ground nuts (I used almonds)

Beat sugar and egg until pale in colour. Mix in vanilla essence. Sift together flour and baking powder. Fold into egg mixture. Add ground nuts and gently mix until combined. Spoon onto baking paper in a long 6 cm wide sausage. Cook in a moderate oven for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool. Slice into 2 cm biscuits. Stand biscuits on an oven tray and return to a moderately slow oven to become crisp, approximately 15 minutes. Store in an airtight container. Makes approximately 24.

I only had self-raising flour on hand and couldn’t find my vanilla essence. Despite that it turned out really good and reminded me of Italian biscotti. It won’t crumble easily and Sam can nibble on it for ages. Katie is never far away so when finally flung it never goes to waste either.

Bribe Them With Chocolate

2009-04-26T10:28:00.000+10:00

Today marks a special milestone for Katie.

About two weeks ago we bought a huge Easter egg for Katie which we set on top of the fridge. It was a special red egg all boxed up. We told her she was free to eat that egg any time - on one condition. She was to do a number two in the toilet. Not in her nappy but in the toilet. Like all big boys and girls do. We repeated this to her every time she asked about the egg and she absolutely understood what she needed to do. In fact each time she mentioned the “big choccat egg” we asked her what she had to do to be able to eat it, and she promptly answered “do poo poo in toilet”.

Well it’s been an interesting two weeks. I think the whole process is a very frightening one for a two and a half year old. Day-time number ones have been sorted but it was taking a while to get to the next stage. The chocolate was a good enough bribe but Katie still waited until her nappy was on at nap times and at nights. I eventually told her mummy would just eat the egg in the end. That was this morning.

Without going into unnecessary detail, except to say it had been a few days since a dirty nappy, we had a winner. There were a few tears – it is a horrid ordeal to go through at first – but she tucked into a nice bowl of chocolate and told auntie and grandpa all about it on the phone later.

But maybe I shouldn’t get too excited. Katie has come downstairs up from her nap along with the familiar scent that signals a nappy change is in order. Guess I’ll be buying more chocolate – for Katie of course.

Pink Playdough

2009-04-20T10:22:00.000+10:00

One thing I intend to start doing more with Katie is introducing more creativity in our days. It doesn’t necessarily mean creating wonderful things all the time - although that would be fabulous it’s probably not likely to happen. I would like to expose her to new outlets, new experiences and just different things to get her hands into. Today we did an oldie but a goodie. We made play dough.

Months ago I bought a small tub of yellow play dough for Katie. Eventually it hardened up and crumbs of it impacted into our dark blue carpet every time she used it. Well that got tipped out and I decided to make some up myself. This is the recipe we used:

1 cup plain flour

2 tbs cream of tartar

1 tbs cooking oil

½ cup salt

1 cup water

food colouring

This is probably one of the easiest things in the world to make. You just mix the lot in a saucepan over medium heat stirring constantly until the dough becomes thick and does not stick to the pan (about five minutes).

Katie wanted red play dough but it took quite a few drops of the red food colouring to make a nice pink colour and we decided to leave it at that. It has a really nice soft consistency and this time we’ll make sure to keep it well covered when not in use and see how long it keeps for.

10 Reasons to Visit Your Local Library

2009-04-16T09:53:00.000+10:00

I’ve always been a bit of a bookworm and you can bet that one of my favourite places to visit is the library. Rarely do I buy books unless they are very special or of course they are a great secondhand find. Here are 10 reasons why you should check out your local library if you haven’t already done so.

1. It’s free.Joining the library is free. At my local library you can borrow up to 25 items at a time. Books can be held for three weeks and then may be renewed twice after that unless someone has reserved an item.
2. Save on recreational items.A wide range of items for borrowing held may include LOTE, large print, magazines, audio books, sheet music, electronic games, DVDs, CDs and CD-ROMs. I never hire DVDs at the video store anymore. My library includes a lot of arthouse/foreign films which I enjoy. Every now and then I’ll check the new items listing in the catalogue and reserve each title I want to see. The library then notifies me when they’re through.
3. Reserve/Request Titles.If you’re after a certain item it is possible to reserve it. With some libraries you may need to pay a small fee, like around 50 cents. You can use Library Link to request items other Victorian public libraries hold, otherwise you may be able to put in a formal request for your library to actually purchase the item for you (within guidelines). My library has a form for this online.
4. Home access to library catalogue/databases.From the library’s web page you can access the library catalogue. Once you have set up your own password you can then renew/reserve items online – a great timesaving tool. You also may have access to further electronic databases on subjects such as art, business, genealogy, health and science.
5. Children’s Activities.Libraries have numerous activities for children such as rhymetime and storytime for preschoolers and some have even attempted bilingual storytime. During the current school holidays I’ve also seen a range of kids’ activities advertised including cooking, bookmaking, kung fu classes and hip hop dancing. Who said libraries had to be quiet?
6. Study Areas.There are usually separate study areas/rooms at libraries with computer use, printing and internet also available.
7. Meeting Rooms.If you need to book and hire a meeting place your local library may just have what you need. They are usually quite large and have AV equipment available, air-conditioning and a self-contained kitchen.
8. Community Information.Libraries are a great source of news and events in your municipality. Check for noticeboards, leaflets and free parenting publications.
9. Art exhibitions.Some libraries have regular art exhibitions by local artists such as at the City Library in Flinders Lane which has a gallery upstairs (yes a proper one).
10. Learn something new.Most libraries hold classes of some kind, eg Pilates. One upcoming class at my library I'm tempted to join is on online social networking. There are also regular speakers, book clubs and writers’ groups.

Newer libraries may have a parents’ room with baby change facilities and nifty self-checkout machines. They may also hold regular book sales throughout the year. You can find a listing of all Victorian public libraries here.

Libraries have come a long way - check them out. (I do admit I’m a nerd)

Sam's Homebirth Story - with Slideshow

2009-04-05T09:49:00.002+10:00

Six months after the event I finally penned my home birth story.

My first childbirth took place in a hospital. Katie came out the “natural” way, though to me there was nothing natural about it. This experience left much to be desired. Transfer from birth centre (not enough staff), labour augmentation, continuous foetal monitoring, a drip, catherisation, episiotomy, culminating in vacuum extraction. The classical cascade of intervention so commonly found today. Thankfully it did not lead to a Caesarean. If I had chosen an epidural earlier on I’m sure things would have been different. To mask the pain would have been so easy, but the part of the birth plan which I had any control over I stuck to.

I started looking more into the option of a home birth second time around. I discovered it was most definitely a viable and safe option in a normal low-risk pregnancy. The respected Cochrane Group who are a source of evidence-based research worldwide attests to this. I felt empowered and excited.

My main midwife was Clare from Midwives Naturally. She came to my home several times before the birth and we had nice long informative sessions and I felt very comfortable with her experience and knowledge. I also had a second midwife, Helen. They are a fantastic team.
I remember waking up at around 3.30 am on Saturday morning, one week before I was due. For the last week I had been experiencing what seemed to be minor contractions, but these ones were enough to jolt me awake. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. At 6 am I was up and in the shower. The contractions were now 5 minutes apart. I woke my husband up and told him it was happening today!

It was the day of the AFL (Australian Rules Football) Grand Final and I switched on the television while I prepared for labour. I turned the volume up loud to hide my loud groanings as I couldn’t contain them. Unlike being in the hospital I could make as much sound as I wanted here and not feel self-conscious. I got out the beanbag and tried to keep myself upright throughout. No one was going to make me lie on my back if I could help it! I was not hungry at all but forced myself to eat bite-sized portions as I really needed as much energy as possible for labour. My husband rang Clare and told her the situation. By this stage contractions were every 3 to 4 minutes. They would be on their way.

My husband started preparing the bath upstairs. It had to be filled twice as it had not been cleaned out. We were going to do this in a few days’ time but baby obviously wanted to get out sooner. It’s a big spa bath and hadn’t been used in years. Clare and Helen arrived with all their gear. I was so glad to see them because I wanted some reassurance that everything was fine, and it was. They routinely checked my pulse and blood pressure, they massaged me and advised me on other various positions. It made such a difference to have them there encouraging me along and being so positive the whole time. I kept asking if the bath was ready. It seemed like forever.

I wanted to know how far dilated I was. I can’t remember what it was at that point but Clare and Helen thought I was ready to go in the bath. After one more contraction I made my way up the stairs. As soon as I reached the top I had another one. But that bath felt so good! It was warm and the buoyancy felt great. Being in a hard bath was no problem. I squatted and gripped the sides for a while and the bath was fortunately large enough for me to move around in. Helen gave me sips of orange juice between contractions and wiped my forehead. I took some Rescue Remedy and some honey. At this point Alan was busy taking pictures, which was what I wanted and Clare and Helen were giving me tremendous support. Clare monitored the baby’s heartbeat with a handheld Doppler which meant I could move around freely without being tied to a machine.

Throughout all this Katie was looking on with interest. She had gotten to know Clare and Helen pretty well before the birth and sensed something exciting was going to happen. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react to me being in labour screaming. Truth is, there was no screaming but there was definitely pain. Like waves of severely extreme period pain. Once they pass there is relief, but only for a minute or so.

Only an hour or so had passed in the bath but I was feeling fatigued and felt really discouraged. My previous labour was 13 hours. Clare and Helen egged me on and suggested I now move on to my back in between contractions as a more comfortable position. I was in that classical transition stage. I just wanted to give up and wasn’t sure if I could go on. The midwives told me I was ready to push. They could see the head and after a few more minutes I felt a huge warmth release out of my body and my baby immediately placed on my chest. Words cannot describe that moment. The softness. The perfectly formed features. His cry. Just sheer relief. I was delirious with pride and love as I gazed down at his little head stroking it. I held him and held him.

He was wrapped in a towel to keep him warm and Apgars were checked. My husband cut the cord, and later I pushed the placenta out, large and meaty. I only had a very minor vaginal wall tear but it didn’t need any stitches. I was helped out of the bath and I changed into comfortable clothes and got into my own familiar bed. Sam was put back into my arms, snuffling and snuggling. Clare and Helen cleaned up while the four of us cuddled together. He was weighed a little later – 4 kg! Helen told me later how Katie’s jaw dropped as she saw Sam pop out of my body. We have video footage but I’ve yet to watch it back. I gulped down eggs, toast, tea and orange juice and my husband did the ring around. All up it was a four hour birth. A couple of hours later, after a family visit, I slowly ventured downstairs. Sam slept in a bassinet beside me and I watched the last half of a very exciting grand final.

I had also experienced a grand achievement of my own that day, one I have absolutely no hesitation in repeating, if and when I am blessed with another child.

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Breastfeeding Woes

2009-03-19T16:30:00.000+11:00

The little man has had enough. He has discovered the bottle and he likes it.

At four months I started Sam on solids because I knew he was ready, in fact more than ready. He would stare at us with his mouth open whenever we ate, and I couldn’t wait to give him his first spoonful of rice cereal just to see how he’d react. Well it was all downhill from there from the point of view of my breasts. He had started to wean himself.

Between the ages of 4 and 6 months Katie actually lost weight. I honestly don’t know how I missed it. She was always a chubby girl and I did notice she had lost a few rolls but I thought she was just lengthening out. I was shocked to learn how far down the charts she had dropped and immediately gave her as much solids as she could take and supplemented with formula. I hated that I had succumbed to the bottle but she was just not interested in the breast anymore. She would last only two minutes if that.

Well I wasn’t going to let Sam lose any weight, but this is the age where babies get so distracted during breastfeeding. They pull away to look at something and don’t want to get back on and you’re not sure whether they’re actually full or not. So frustrating. I remember looking at a formula tin the first time and being horrified to learn my baby was expected to have 240 mL four times a day. That’s practically a litre! There was no way on earth she could be getting that much out of me. So the bottle was Katie’s new friend. However, I was fortunate enough to keep breastfeeding her twice a day for a year. No guilt.

But with Sam it hasn’t been as easy. He loves his bottle and I would say is getting a bit lazy. It’s too easy getting milk out of a bottle. The only time he happily takes the breast is first thing in the morning when he’s really thirsty. During the day he cries until the bottle is produced. It’s not nice to be rejected by your own baby. I really want to keep breastfeeding for a year like I did with Katie and I WILL persist. But seeing his fat rolls is a beautiful sight.

Boredom?

2009-03-13T16:24:00.000+11:00

As wonderful and rewarding it is bringing up your little ones at home, sometimes, or shall I say quite often, it really is a tedious job.

My mornings are usually spent getting household chores done so I am ready to work in the afternoons when my two babies are asleep. Now my daughter loves being with me and always insists I play with her. It’s really sweet but it sometimes produces a battle of the wills. What is more important – playing dolls with Katie or … the ironing? Reading a story together or… mopping?

I do prioritise one-on-one time but it’s sometimes very hard to get Katie to play by herself after that. I hate to resort to TV or food and I know she will happily sit with these by herself. We go out a number of mornings during the week, however, once we’re home the whining begins.

Things need to get done but out of guilt I stop and just be with my daughter. She probably needs more attention now since baby Sam came into the picture. But I’m starting to notice (and I hate to say it) how bored I’ve become when I am playing with her and I’m kind of dismayed that the feeling is there almost all the time.I often find myself creating to-do lists in my head looking glazy-eyed at a jigsaw puzzle or staring through my son’s face while breastfeeding, counting down the hours when they will both be in bed so I can begin my “real” work. It's frustrating because when that time does come I am very tired and often in need of a nap myself.

Those baby days go by so quickly and I’m sad Katie is no longer a baby (ok that’s not entirely true). I looked forward to when she could crawl so I wouldn’t have to carry her as much, to when she’d stop breastfeeding so I could have my body (and extra time) back, to when she’d talk, be fully toilet-trained etc.

I don’t want to do the same to Sam. It’s great when they become more independent but they are truly babies for such a short time. I want to be able to treasure every moment without being bored, to give them my full attention without thinking of other things. One day I will learn how to do that.

Cloth Nappies - Yes You Can! (part 2)

2009-03-08T17:17:00.000+11:00

Part 1

The brand of cloth nappies I went with was Baby Beehinds. They use materials such as hemp and bamboo which are very absorbent. Fabric is so much kinder and softer on baby’s bottom than disposables, which are made from paper and plastic. I found when my babies were exclusively breastfeeding there would always be pooy leaks if they were in disposables. This was never the case with cloth.

My cloth nappies also came in the one handy adjustable size and indeed they fit both my newborns, and I am still using them now on my 2½ year old with no trouble at all. The nappy covers are made from PUL, a lightweight breathable polyester material, so is less likely to cause rashes as with regular plastic pants. Some brands also make an all-in-one nappy where there is no separate cover but is simply incorporated into the nappy itself.

Reusable fleece liners can be placed inside the nappy which makes disposing of solid material really easy. After changing a cloth nappy I just place them both in a nappy bucket and ensure the lid is tightly closed. This is called dry-pailing - no need to soak! I also happen to use reusable cloth wipes and these I throw in the nappy bin as well. When I’m ready to wash a load I do the lot with half the amount of detergent I would in a regular load and line dry.

Personally I use cloth nappies for home and short trips out. Disposables are terrific for nappy changes when out, though a lot of parents choose to use cloth nappies full-time. They have found it just as easy to carry cloth in a nappy bag as you would disposables and say their daycare centres are also happy to oblige.

Unfortunately it is very difficult to find these products in stores to see them for yourself. The best list of stockists I've found is here.

More info:
http://www.bumpybuns.com.au/
http://www.darlingsdownunder.com.au/
http://www.ozclothnappies.org/

Cloth Nappies - Yes You Can! (part 1)

2009-03-06T17:12:00.000+11:00

As all mums know the most expensive ongoing baby item is nappies. It’s an essential from birth to when bub is fully toilet-trained, which could be for perhaps three years or more. Although by far disposables are the nappy of choice, there is a new and growing phenomenon taking place – the rise of modern cloth.

I discovered this concept while pregnant with my first child and I have not looked back!
Only a couple of decades ago white square terry cloth was nappy standard. I do know they make great burp cloths and are really good to clean with. Modern cloth, however, is quite different. They actually look like regular disposable nappies so no folding is required and also no pins are used. They are usually fitted with snap buttons or Velcro. They are so easy to use and any Dad would find them a breeze.

There are dozens of brands out there, mostly available online, the majority of which are manufactured at home by mums here in Australia. Ebay is a good place to get an idea of what is available. It is almost becoming a fashion statement when you see the host of styles and colours to choose from.

There has been much debate on which is better - cloth or disposable.

It actually takes several hundred years to break down a disposable nappy, and 3.75 million of them are dumped everyday in Australia/New Zealand alone! Please go back and digest that figure. Also the production of disposable nappies requires a huge amount of resources. Obviously cloth nappies need to be washed, but a study has shown that disposables use much more water to produce than what it takes to wash cloth nappies in a year.*

Aside from environmental reasons, for me the choice came down purely for the great saving. It can cost roughly $3500 to take each child through to toilet-training using disposables. I bought 24 nappies and 6 nappy covers with reusable liners for around $600. It's a bit of an outlay but so worth it in the end and you can also reuse them for your next child which is what I am doing with Sam.

In part 2 I’ll explain how to use cloth nappies in more detail.
* http://www.babybeehinds.com.au/new-to-cloth/cloth-vs-disposables

The Magic Bike

2009-02-25T16:54:00.000+11:00

Five years and two babies later I’ve finally pulled myself together and joined a gym again. I really couldn’t say no to a brand new, huge, five-star flashy gym which opened a couple of months ago, not far from my house. I actually got pulled in by a salesperson in the local shopping centre before the gym had opened, and I was determined that this was going to be something I would do for myself. Hubby has his martial arts (fun) and I’ll have… pain and sweat thanks.

I’ve been biking there once or twice a week in the evenings and it’s a nice little ride, just enough to get the blood going. It took ages to wrestle my bike from our storage cupboard, dust it down and pump its wheels for the first ride. I’ve always associated my bike with my single days and just to ride it again made me feel young and refreshed. Riding on a familiar road instead of the usual drive is a much different experience. I feel almost connected with the environment around me as I breathe it in.

On that first trip back home the feeling was surreal as I rode up to our house. It was like I was in another world and it hit me that yes, I was married and I actually have a husband and two kids who are inside that big house. I used to get that feeling quite a lot in the past but not so much now. It was very strange but I smiled knowing that each time I would use the bike and work out in the gym I could pretend to be a teenager again. The cars that passed me and the gym junkies probably wouldn’t know any different.

However, to know I have loved ones who depend on me waiting at home makes it even sweeter and I am truly thankful for them each day.

Lockout

2009-02-19T16:48:00.000+11:00

I normally pride myself on how organised I am, pre-baby of course. I like routines, lists, calendars - basically anything that can assist with preparation and efficiency. I don’t like anything that hinders that, like forgetting basic items.

Yesterday I had a number of errands to be done outside the home and I had spent quite a bit of time preparing everything I needed to take with me. Sometimes I will save all the small trips for one big trip out and yesterday was the day. I stepped out the front door and as soon as the door shut behind me I knew I had done it. Forgotten my keys. Basic items don’t get more basic than that.

I rummaged in my bag to make sure - not there. Maybe I had left the side door unlocked? No. I peered in from the back and there they were hanging from the door handle, locked of course. I always make sure the keys are in my hand before I step out – but I should be way past blaming my absentmindedness on baby brain by now.

I attempted to phone my husband and was greeted with “Optus wishes to advise…insufficient funds…”. I find these days my phone either has no credit or is not charged. I also knew there was a number to call to recharge via credit card but I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was. It was going to be a bad day, and a hot one at that.

I contemplated possibly breaking in as I had access to all my husband’s wonderful tools in the garage, but I couldn’t really set the baby down anywhere, and it was hardly a shining example for Katie to see. I hoped one of my neighbours was home so I could at least make a call. Fortunately it was Liz’s day off and I was able to call over and contact hubby. He would cancel his last appointment and return in a couple of hours.

We’ve always been friendly neighbours but Liz and I sat and chatted for a good while and learned we actually have a lot in common. I really enjoyed the time spent and as for the errands that had to be done – sometimes you learn that maybe they weren’t so important after all.

The Stairs

2009-02-07T16:42:00.000+11:00

I currently have a love/hate relationship with the stairs at our house. It’s great that we live in a double-storey home as there’s lots of space and rooms and the ability to have a fairly large yard. I wouldn’t be giving that up too easily. However when you are considering buying a house with stairs they are what you will be using multiple times daily.

That’s pretty obvious and it never really was an issue until recently. Having a baby is a big deal but when all the bedrooms are upstairs you find yourself constantly up and down them during the day. I wanted our babies to get used to their cot and their room from the very start so I tended to avoid having them nap downstairs. This plan eventually worked as they both slept through at 3 months of age.

Sam is a heavy little monster and climbing up those stairs with him really works those legs, not to mention arms. There’s also a bit of an art to it especially when carrying him downstairs, and I admit I once carried both Katie and Sam down at the same time. Please never do this!

Anyway Sam is having three naps a day at the moment but of course he doesn’t always go down very easily, so I am back up again to soothe him and this can be repeated a number of times per nap. Katie also can wreak some havoc in her room during her “naptime” and yet again I’m forced to trudge upstairs to check on her almost every time.

I find by the end of the day I am absolutely exhausted. To avoid further trips upstairs I tend to stash everything that needs to go up on the bottom step so I can save it for one trip up. Anyone else do that? This was fine until Katie began walking and soon I’d have my folded laundry strewn about the house.

Some other points about double-storey houses is the need to invest in a safety gate at the top and possibly bottom of the stairs. Our stairs are curved at the bottom so we can't fit a gate there. As a result Katie has actually fallen down our stairs and onto the tiles below. Also during the summer the heat upstairs can be stifling. Good air-conditioning is vital if you have babies.

However, I have definitely noticed a positive thing about those stairs. In no way am I in great shape four months after giving birth, but I definitely think all that stair-climbing with baby weights has definitely helped my body. It’s been my only form of exercise for the last couple of weeks and I feel stronger and almost back to my normal self again. However, if anyone knows of a free and easy home-based exercise to get rid of post-baby belly flab I'd love to know!

A Candlelit Night

2009-02-01T16:29:00.000+11:00

Last night we had a power outage. Some areas of Melbourne were already without electricity during part of the heatwave and now it was our turn. Fortunately for us it came at around 7.30 pm, when a cool change had already settled in. Katie insisted we turn “TV on” but the situation of course was too difficult to explain to a 2.5 year old. We bundled them into bed as it was their bedtime anyway and wondered what to do. No TV, no computer, no air-con – it was almost a disaster.

The windows were opened to let the beautiful breeze in and we listened to the strange silence. We sat outside reading the papers and I sewed a broken strap back to one of my tops. Gone was the monotonous drone of cooling units and only the laughter of children playing filled the air. It grew slowly dark and I found some Anzac biscuits and candles inside. We played gin rummy and opened a bottle of wine.

An hour later power returned but it seemed to disturb the peace. My husband went inside to turn the TV and fan off and we continued sitting outside by candlelight.
We eventually came in an hour later to see what the world was up to. It was a beautiful night to remember.

It's Only Hair

2009-01-19T16:24:00.000+11:00

For the last couple of weeks or so I’ve noticed I’ve been losing hair. Lots of it. After a shower I can remove handfuls of the stuff, and then I moult constantly during the day. I’m forever picking up hair off the floor, the chair, myself, the baby. My husband even fished out a strand in his food the other day.

All this got me pretty worried but then I read this in Robin Barker’s Baby Love:

"Sudden hair loss is a distressing experience for a number of women. It’s upsetting because it comes out in handfuls and seems like baldness is inevitable. The mother feels as if it’s excessive, but it is usually not noticeable to others. It happens from two to three months after birth and is not related to breastfeeding, so don’t wean! The exact mechanism is unknown, but thought to be related to the major upheaval the body goes through at this time".

Nice to know I can always mention the “major upheaval” my body is going through when I need to! I’m not sure if I experienced this with Katie but it’s a bit frustrating since the last cut I had was ironically to have it thinned out. Apparently the hair loss stops after eight months – any longer than that and I’m sure my children will end up having two bald parents.

Movie Night

2009-01-12T16:18:00.000+11:00

A few nights ago my husband and I went to the movies – with no kids.

I distinctly remember the last time we had gone to the movies together – two and a half years ago. I was heavily pregnant with Katie and we were watching March of the Penguins. During that pregnancy I had suffered several episodes of fainting spells (I had low iron and lowish blood pressure).

At one point during the movie I could feel the heavy nauseous feeling descend and I handed my husband the M&Ms in my hand (can’t say I’ve done this before). Right after this I felt my husband shaking me and saying “are you ok, are you ok?” He told me later my eyes had glazed over and my head had rolled forward. I came to and slowly took myself out, breathed some fresh air and was fine.

Fortunately no incident this time around. Just a lovely feeling in noticing the simple things – like the freedom to hold my husband’s hand because of no pram to push, to be able to wear a dress as I wasn’t going to be breastfeeding and to hold a handbag instead of an oversized nappy bag.
Good movie, great company and a nice night – the only letdown was the lift we used. No one else was using it and we found out why – it reeked of urine. I almost started to feel nauseous again.

Yarra Valley Wineries

2009-01-09T16:12:00.000+11:00

Probably the standout feature of the Yarra Valley are its wineries. Being wine novices and recently holidaying in the region we tossed around the idea of a tour with a group and experienced guide, but in the end we decided to do it ourselves. Most of these bus tours visit multiple wineries with tastings and lunch included, however most of the wineries are within minutes of each other. All you really need is a Melway and a bit of prior planning and you can save yourself a bit of money and stay as long or as little as you like. This is especially helpful when you have little ones with you as we did.

All the large wineries have a cellar door for tastings and purchases and most offer guided tours. They usually have a restaurant with fantastic vineyard views. Some even hold regular wine discovery classes. A listing of all the Yarra Valley wineries can be found here.

We stopped at Domaine Chandon first. They have a visitors centre with free guided tours throughout the day or you can do a self-guided tour. We were shown the wine-making process and visited the barrel cellar and riddling hall. The tour lasts about 30 minutes which was just long enough for Katie and she seemed to enjoy it too.

We also visited TarraWarra Estate. The views of this winery are spectacular. My camera battery ran out here but I got a couple of great shots. Tastings here are $4 each (for 10 different wines) or free if you make a purchase. The TarraWarra Museum of Art is just next door which has a stunning collection of Aboriginal art.

Sebel Heritage Yarra Valley

2009-01-03T16:02:00.000+11:00

Our family recently went away on holidays for four nights. This was a HUGE deal for us as we have never taken our two little ones on holiday anywhere. It needs a lot of preparation and planning and luckily all went as smoothly as it possibly could.

Needless to say, the Sebel Heritage in the Yarra Valley is very nice 5 star accommodation only made possible for us via a handy Qantas gift voucher. This area is only a 40 minute drive from Melbourne city – perfect for my husband who quite dislikes long drives but also for baby Sam who has just settled into a routine.

I think our 2½ year old Katie would be quite happy to stay a lot longer at Sebel Heritage. Coming back to a freshly made up room every day was delightful and she got a real kick out of using the lifts. The real highlight however was the full breakfast which was thankfully tacked on to our package. Bacon, scrambled eggs, tomato, mushrooms, sausage, a variety of breads and cereals, piles of fresh seasonal fruit, yoghurt, nuts, croissants…we literally stuffed ourselves each morning! Katie learned how to spread peanut butter here but soon found it easier to eat it straight from its mini portion pack.

We would have liked to have dinner here also (the hotel restaurant is called Bella) but it is very pricey. We instead drove to Warrandyte and had Indian at Nardee and to Lilydale for Chinese at Lilydale Palace (delicious and great value).

The hotel has a day spa which I didn’t personally use but I understand is quite luxurious. Hubby used the gym and there is also an indoor pool and tennis courts. Probably the feature aspect of this hotel is the Jack Nicklaus-designed golf course. There are some spectacular views of it when cruising up the curved driveway towards the hotel.

We found the staff very helpful and friendly and would definitely stay again (if I had another voucher!). Unfortunately we found ourselves watching more television than I had hoped. My husband is thinking about getting Foxtel now – as long as we don’t have to sit through American Chopper every day.

Cake Baking

2008-12-21T15:44:00.000+11:00

I decided to do some baking yesterday. It’s something I enjoyed doing when I was younger but unfortunately don’t do as much of these days - perhaps because just getting a decent meal for the family on the table these days can often be a struggle. I seem to have lost the joy of cooking!

I picked up a copy of the Coles Christmas magazine and this particular recipe looked both delicious and doable.

Almond and white-choc cake

1 cup sultanas

1 cup currants

½ cup glace cherries

½ cup slivered almonds

grated rind of 1 orange

2 tbsp orange juice

250 g butter, at room temperature

1 cup brown sugar

3 eggs

150 g white chocolate, roughly chopped

2 ½ cups plain flour, sifted

1 tsp baking powder

½ cup milk

50 g flaked almonds

Preheat oven to 160◦ or 140◦ fan. Grease a 23 cm round cake pan. Line base and sides with two layers of baking paper, bringing paper 5 cm above edge of pan.
Combine sultanas, currants, cherries, almonds, orange rind and juice in a large bowel. Set aside to soak for 2 hours.Using electric beaters, beat butter and sugar, until pale and creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in fruit and chocolate. Fold in flour and baking powder alternately with milk, beginning and ending with flour. Spoon into prepared pan, smoothing top with a metal spatula.

Scatter flaked almonds over top of cake. Bake for 2 – 2 ½ hrs, until a skewer inserted comes out clean. Cool in pan.

This is a large cake perfect for Christmas or any time of the year. The smell of it wafting through the house is just scrumptious! Apparently it works out as being only $1.70 per serve.

Ignorance is Bliss

2008-12-17T11:31:00.000+11:00

Having had two children I sometimes think back to the days when I was first pregnant – and absolutely clueless. I didn’t know anything about motherhood or baby care. I had absolutely no idea what was going to be in store for me. I knew life would be different but I didn’t quite grasp the fact that life would never be the same again. Life takes on a new quality, a new chapter, with new meaning. And the realization of it comes slowly.

It is hard then to communicate this to a mum-to-be, who perhaps wants to know what motherhood is really like. What do you say? You will soon experience what true pain and sleep deprivation really is, you will kiss goodbye to that pre-baby body, and you will suffer some sort of identity crisis. I’m ashamed to say it but yes I do want her to experience every exhausting, frustrating and helpless moment I did. However I’ve come to realise that children have enormous power. They can bring out the worst side of you equally as well as your most loving and tender side.

I recently read that the real truths of motherhood are hardly ever articulated even to the best of friends. It can be a hard slog but we get through it somehow, and we acknowledge it in every mother. So when I see a pregnant woman I want her to experience it all, the highs as well as the lows – for then she will know how strong she really is.